An embodied affirmation of trans futures amidst the disintegrative reality of trans life, How does it feel to look at nothing is an experimental opera and pre-origin story of a Deity of Nothingness. Co-created, co-directed, and performed by Holland Andrews and yuniya edi kwon, the work is currently in development and will have its world and New York premieres in Fall 2026. Watch in-progress excerpts here.

Thank you for considering a tax-deductible gift of any amount! Your donation directly supports the opera's creation and development over the next two years, including fees and wages for the lead artists and creative team; travel for residencies and engagements; studio rental, equipment, supplies, and materials; marketing, admin, and overheads; and core needs, including healthcare and childcare.

From Holland and yuniya: We are trans artists of color in the process of having our first child through a miraculous, medically-supported process. By the time the opera is complete, we hope to be new parents, navigating a world that is, unfortunately, increasingly hostile to trans life, trans fecundity, and trans families. Through the very personal and public-facing work of How does it feel, we hope to reflect the shifting, disintegrative reality of trans life, while also offering an expansive, transformational vision of trans futures. We do this by destabilizing the European operatic & libretto traditions, connecting to our anticolonial creative & spiritual lineages, and blurring it all within a looping hyperreality of life, mythology, and performance.

We view trans family building as a radical act, inseparable from our artistic practice and rooted in a transformational, queer optimism that loves in the face of unprecedented cruelty. How does it feel is our hopeful vessel for this profoundly vulnerable moment. Within it, we allow ourselves to be immersed fully and unapologetically in both performance-making and family building. Within it, we transform a moment of potential vulnerability into one of generative growth, strengthened by you, our creative community of collaborators, family, friends, institutions, and supporters.

Producing an opera of this scale equitably and ethically requires significant resources. Your gift empowers us to take the right kind of risks, say "yes" to a sustainable creative practice, and realize the full scope of this ambitious, deeply personal work.

With gratitude,

Holland + yuniya

Support the new opera! by Holland Andrews + yuniya edi kwon