The Missouri State Legislature is hostile to my family's well-being.

My name is Oliver. I'm a 30 year old disabled trans man. My girlfriend Danielle - a trans woman - is 29. With me being out of work since 2016, and Danielle being repeatedly subjected to employment discrimination, we won't be able to escape Missouri without help.

Danielle and Oliver -- just a couple o' goobers

It's Not Safe Here.

MO SB49 is sitting on our governor's desk. If signed, it will remove Medicaid funding from trans-affirming care. Danielle and I will lose access to life-saving hormone replacement therapy.
In April 2023 Missouri Attorney General Andrew Bailey issued a rule that would strip transgender adults of their care. Disaster was avoided thanks to Lambda Legal and the ACLU.
The Anti-Trans Legislation Tracker is currently tracking 43 anti-trans bills in Missouri.
Even in our liberal-leaning college town, Danielle faces regular transphobic harassment and provocations from strangers.
Danielle's employer-provided insurance explicitly discriminates against trans people, and does not cover her care needs.
In March 2023 the Missouri Attorney General attempted to compile a list of transgender Missourians via an online form.

Missouri policies actively harm the trans people who live here. More anti-trans policies are introduced every year. Missouri LGBTQ Policy Tally

It is legal for insurance companies to discriminate against transgender Missourians. Danielle doesn't have health insurance because her employee package would not provide her with the necessary care she needs as a trans woman.

Minnesota: "You Belong Here"

Transgender political strategist Erin Reed has called Minnesota "One of the safest" destinations for trans Americans.

Executive Order 23-03 safeguards transgender refugees, their families, and their doctors from out-of-state prosecution.

A massive sign welcoming transgender people at a Minnesota United game in June 2023

Trans Minnesotans enjoy a lack of active political persecution, and a great deal of legal protections:

Minnesota Medicaid covers gender-affirming care, and abide by modern WPATH standards.
Private health insurances cannot discriminate on the basis of gender identity nor refuse to cover gender-affirming care.
Non-discrimination laws protect LGBT people from employment and housing discrimination, unlike Missouri.
LGBT Minnesotans in liberal areas report feeling relatively safe and welcome.
We'll be a short drive away to Canada in the nightmare scenario where Trump or DeSantis win.

LGBT Equality Maps indicate Minnesota as being one of the safest states for trans people in 2023.

Who You're Helping: Get to Know My Little Family

Oliver, AKA trans_catdad. That's me!

I'm a 30 year old trans man who is disabled by PTSD and depression. Lucky for me I have a great therapist and I've been making a lot of progress! Like a lot of trans people, I'm estranged from my family. My parents are Trump supporters who kicked me off of their health insurance policy during the pandemic to try to stop me from transitioning.

I play D&D (a trans tiefling, of course) and several musical instruments: piano, accordion, and violin. I'd like to join a volunteer symphony or orchestra again someday if my health allows it. I also enjoy doing embroidery and cross stitch. One of my favorite subjects to embroider is Snufkin, a character from Moomins. I'm also a gamer. GameGrumps is my go-to comfort content. My favorite band is AJJ. Also I like hiking and climbing trees like an animal.

I have a very small YouTube channel where I talk about my experiences as a trans man, which you can check out here.

Danielle, who goes by DJ, or Shyloh online. And of course our orange creamsicle Jack who needs constant attention.

My girlfriend DJ is basically a big o' nerd. If you've ever seen memes about trans women being IT support workers and gamers, those are all about her. (Except I'm still trying to get her to play Fallout New Vegas). Over the weekend I've had the privilege of watching her play Diablo 4.

DJ knew she was trans from a very young age, but wasn't safe to come out and start transitioning until we started living together. I wouldn't have figured out that I was trans without her help. I owe her a lot, really. We met each other as kids on the school bus in middle school, and "dated" for a couple weeks, as kids do. She asked me out via PictoChat on the Nintendo DS.

And now we've been living together for seven years. She's a very good cat mom and I'm lucky to have a partner who's loved me through terribly difficult times.

Ya know him, ya love him, he's JACK. Jack is a 6 year old baby boy who's naughty as heck an demands pets. You must pet him. Unless he's feeling overstimulated, and then you must NOT pet him. Jack has a beautiful singing voice, and he loves singing, loudly. His greatest vice is chewing wires. He just can't seem to give it up.

Jack is truly the jock of the household. He's very athletic. If you've ever heard me say that I love playing football with my son, the son in question is sporty Jack. The boy can run and jump and catch like no other. I'm very proud of him.

Sebastian (more commonly known as Sebby) is a master of comedy. The guy can't go a day without making everyone laugh. He's also an incredible lapwarmer. Actually, we have no choice but to let him sit on our laps. If I am sitting, he is on my lap. He is literally on my lap right now.

We adopted Sebastian in August 2019, a handful of weeks before I came out as trans and started testosterone. Sebby and I have been growing up together as lads. I think it's really special.

Vasily (pronounced like vuh-silly) will be 8 years old next December. He's a handsome guy who isn't quite right in the head. (Kinda like his dad, actually). This relatable little man has a great deal of anxiety, and doesn't like strangers. His favorite hobby is methodologically wiping his paws along vertical surfaces. Repeatedly. For unknown reasons. Vasily is a keeper of secrets that human minds are not equipped to understand.

It is imperative that you watch this very dumb video of our cats on greenscreen.

Our Goal

For the sake of our safety (and mental health too), Danielle and I are aiming to leave Missouri before April 2024. Missouri's legislative session will begin again in January of 2024, and we are fully expecting an onslaught of bad news for trans Missourians as soon as January comes around.

We realize that a goal of $12,000 is very optimistic, but we are expecting a fair bit of difficult finding a suitable rental with three cats. Aside from the expense of hauling a duplex's worth of things over to Minnesota, we're hoping to secure a couple month's worth of living expenses, in case Danielle has difficulty finding work.

If You Want A Dope Shirt:

I'll handmake and ship a "DIE TERFS, DIE" (German for The Terfs, The) shirt to everyone who contributes a minimum $80 USD donation.

For shipping cost purposes, I can only ensure shipping to U.S. addresses only.

Simply make a donation of at least $80 and email your confirmation to DieTerfsDie@outlook.com

Please include your desired shirt size, shipping address, and whether you'd like it to be cropped in the email. The crop is not hemmed, it is cut with a fabric wheel, like the shirt you can see in my video. I use Gildan Heavy Cotton craft t-shirts. I'm 5'2" and 140 lbs and I'm wearing a small.

Why are they so expensive?

TLDR: this is a fundraiser, not an Etsy.

Each shirt costs me about $8 to make, and shipping can be upwards of $10. This $18 cost doesn't include the time and labor I spend actually making the shirt or driving it to the post office. (I make them by hand, btw!)

Because they're a bit expensive and time-consuming to make and ship, I wanted to make sure the focus was on fundraising, and not inadvertently turning the fundraiser into an etsy shop I don't have time for. Do remember that I am disabled and at the mercy of the whims of my mental health.

Other Ways To Give

If Givebutter is not a compatible website for you to donate through, you can still contribute to our moving fund through any of the links below:

https://ko-fi.com/transcatdad

PayPal

Help A Transgender Couple Escape Missouri

A new start in Minnesota