Dear Funders,

My name is Shane! I’m 29 years old. I’m a first generation high school and college graduate, and I went to school for photography. I still practice art in many forms including video, poetry, painting, and photography. I’m from Florida/Georgia but recently moved to New York due to fears of legislation on trans inclusive health care being revoked in the Southern US. I’m a Virgo with a Leo moon and Scorpio rising (if that means anything to you haha). I enjoy creating, reading, playing pool, and spending time with my chosen family. I’m also an art handler which means I get to touch, install, pack, and drive art around. This job requires a lot of lifting as you can imagine. I work for a smaller art transportation company as well as for the Jewish Museum.

I’m transgender and identify as trans masculine. I was assigned female at birth but throughout my life, I came to understand that I felt differently about my gender identity. I started recognizing this feeling around age 5 when I started school. Growing up in the south in the 90’s/00’s, I did not have access to queer media. My origin family is also Southern Baptist which stifled me from outside influence. I tried running away from them when I was 13 and ended up in foster care.

A natural bookworm, I scoured the library for any media that I could personally identify my trans and queer experiences with even though I did not have the vocabulary for it. I came out as bisexual at the age of 13 and was shamed back into the closet until my early 20’s. I had limited access to the internet due to my origin family’s lack of finances. The first queer kiss I saw on tv was on a rerun of The OC at the age of 16. I felt forced into heteronormative femininity to protect an image that my origin family and friends projected onto me and to protect my safety.

I came out as non-binary at the age of 21 after working on a homework assignment in a Gender Studies class in college. The assignment was to explain why you identify with your gender identity. That class and professor opened me up to understand all the variations of sexuality and gender. I also finally found people that I could relate to, and I built a healthy support system along the way.

I started hormones at the age of 27. My brain and body started to feel normal and each sight of transformation gave me hope that I too could experience a fulfilling life. When I came out to my dad, he accepted me, but due to lack of representation, he still has difficulties validating me despite my efforts to help him understand. I started a project that is based on my transition that highlights affirming moments such as going to the barber, tying a tie, taking my hormones, etc. I hope the work I am doing to allow others to peek into my existence helps them to understand what people like me go through.

That brings me to top surgery (breast removal). Throughout my life I have struggled with depression, anxiety, and dysphoria. The trauma I experienced in early life manifested in ways that compacts my gender dysphoria. I fear the longer I go without this life affirming procedure, the worse my mental health will get. I feel as if I am waiting to start my life, go to grad school, accomplish my goals, etc. until I receive this surgery. I feel as if I am limiting myself to protect myself from being misgendered and perceived as a woman.

My Campaign:

I have picked a surgeon, submitted all of the paperwork, and my insurance has given approval. I have a tentative date for surgery on December 28, 2022, but it is not definite.

I was able to save/raise the money for the procedure, but I had to use that money recently because I was out of work for 2 weeks due to a stomach ulcer. Also, because of the financial burden of moving recently and the multitude of copays, I haven’t been able to save for recovery. Because I lift at my art handling jobs, I will be out of work for at least 6 weeks depending on the success of my recovery. To say I’ve been stressed is an understatement.

It would take me years to save enough money to get me through both surgery and recovery.

It’s not impossible but without outside help, I fear not having this surgery could severely impact my mental and physical health. I also do not want to develop breast cancer from taking my hormones. It’s not easy for me to ask for help, but I saw others succeed, so I thought I would try.

I have my heart set on having this surgery by the end of 2022. I’ve taken the time off of work and mentally/physically prepared for it. I’ve put together a care plan and a care team. I’ve made my apartment conducive to the limitations of movement I will have after surgery. All I need now is the finances to back me. That’s where you come in.

I have tried to secure a loan but I recently consolidated my credit card debt and have medical and student loan debt, so my credit is not in a great place.

This is not an “elective” surgery as some think it is. This is my life. I wear my story with pride and do not want you to feel bad for me. I’m a fighter, and I am strong. I want everyone to know that this is a common problem among trans people. I have body dysphoria. I feel dissociative when I look in the mirror. I have other health concerns due to binding my chest for years. I don’t feel comfortable exercising, leaving my apartment, or being intimate.

In the U.S. the American Psychological Association (APA) as well as the American Medical Association (AMA) recognizes that surgery is proper and appropriate treatment for transgender individuals. They agree that it is not "cosmetic." Cosmetic surgery is carried out purely to enhance appearance. This surgery is not purely enhancing my appearance, it’s enhancing my psychological and emotional state. I need it to feel complete and whole, and to live my life to the fullest potential. I need it to be able to support my own community more.

Contributing to my campaign will directly help me to achieve my goal of having a fulfilling life and accomplish my other goals. You’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that you literally made a difference on a small scale that will help me contribute to a much larger community.

The breakdown:

Surgery cost = $500-$1600 (my deductible; which depend on when I get the surgery)

Surgery copay = $150

Post-op copays = $150

Lost wages for 7 weeks = $4,900

Transportation to surgery and follow-up appointments = $300

Recovery supplies = $300

Perks:

Here’s what you get for donating! (shipping included in donation; US residents only) Be sure to include your address and preferred name for shipping.

$15 – Hand painted postcard

$25 – Signed copy of my latest poetry zine

$50 – 6x6” painting

$60 – 6x8.5” painting

$80 – 8x10” painting

$100 – 9x12” painting

Other ways you can help:

Even if you can’t contribute to my page, please share on your social media :) Email friends, talk about transgender issues, ask respectful questions, use the internet to research, stay informed on your local legislation’s stance on transgender equality and health care, speak out against discrimination, make phone calls, make noise. Do whatever you feel comfortable doing, but trust me, there’s plenty to do.

Much Love and Hope,

xoxo Shane

CashApp: $angelbb25

Venmo: @ShaneD3 (last 4 of cell is 2834)

Paypal: shan3.d3dman@gmail.com

Amazon Wishlist: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2NF9JDACG74M7/ref=nav_wishlist_lists_2

Shane’s Surgery Recovery Fund

By Shane Dedman

Shane’s Surgery Recovery Fund

Help a transmasculine recover from top surgery