We would love the opportunity to tell you about The Theater. It has benefited our lives so greatly. Couldn't you use *something good happening for once*? Don't be scared off, we're just a group of like-minded individuals asking questions. DON'T BLAME US FOR THE ANSWERS. "I love the access it affords." - Initiate "The influence I have here is incredible." - Adept "The vibes are immaculate." - Novice The chosen few will be allowed entry to our Initiation Ceremony. We can't tell you what's going to happen, only that you will regret it if you don't do everything in your power to attend. Initiates will become lifelong members of The Theater. It is a privilege to serve The Director. We are at the whim of The Producer. Bask in the glow of The Actor. And we are all props here! Haha! Capitalism affords few pleasures, intentionally acting against your own best interests is one of them. Sacrifice your capital and revel in the resulting euphoria today!