Hi there.

My name is Brad Farinacci (basically Italian for, “loves bread”, which checks out). I live in Niagara, Canada. I am a 3x Weekend of Recovery (WOR) alumni (2010 - 2013), and I am fiercely loyal and forever grateful to MenHealing for the significant role they have played in my ongoing recovery from childhood sexual abuse (CSA). I have been actively engaged in trauma recovery with individual and group counselling, but a WOR is something else entirely unto itself. It is difficult to put such unique, experiential healing into words, but here goes… 

Attending a WOR is like a reunion of old friends who haven’t met yet. It truly is. Although every single one of us would rather not have had the history that binds us, we are nonetheless united in reclaiming our birthright of dignity, healing, and inner peace. It’s also a bit like a reunion with yourself— your TRUE SELF—you know, the one that is carefree, trusting, confident, calm, compassionate, and...creative.

In the summer of 2010, I showed up at Kempenfeldt Conference Centre for my first Weekend of Recovery. I was a closed-off, nervous wreck but probably socially well presenting. That was sort of my relational style; just pretend everything is fine and maybe it will be. Over the next 2 days plus, almost everything about the way I interact with other people began to shift in a new direction with an unstoppable momentum that persists to this day. I was able to get to know and trust other men. I was able to shift my perspective about long held, destructive beliefs. I was able to move my body in ways that felt free instead of threatening. In just one weekend, the eye and heart opening experiences changed what I thought was possible for me. Our dedicated and passionate WOR facilitators often and sincerely invite us to “Dare to Dream” and I have taken that to heart, still all these years later. It is the hope that the WORs have given me that remains particularly impactful. 

That first WOR was really the most crucial step in what I consider a lifelong journey to rediscover the parts of me whose development was interrupted by the trauma of CSA, and to accept and love who I am today. I have always felt a need to express some idea or feeling through art in some way and even considered a career in music as a young man. Ultimately, the lack of resilience I had at the time steered me toward safer options. Since I have cultivated more resilience and a stronger sense of who I am through trauma recovery, I’ve leaned more and more into thinking like an artist and I feel more comfortable in my skin. 

Artistic pursuits such as custom furniture design and carpentry have helped me learn to be grounded in the present moment through my senses, but it is songwriting that provides the ultimate experience of combining tactile craftsmanship with emotive verbal expression. Being vocal about my experiences has been an important aspect of my recovery from near the very beginning. With songwriting, I get to combine using my voice to express myself with melody and sometimes loud guitars. That’s a pretty magical thing, which is remarkable to say for someone who had at one point stopped believing in magic or hope. 

The songs I have contributed to MenHealing’s fundraising efforts reflect lessons I have learned along my way from then to now. 

Rejecting fault for what happened to me while simultaneously accepting responsibility for my healing.

Reassuring my inner child.

Accepting I make mistakes.

Remembering I can always try again.

Resilience.

Hope.

Thank you for listening.

Listen to the full song, view lyrics, and support Brad's music here: https://elusivenorthernlights.bandcamp.com/track/from-your-eyes-demo