My name is David. I attended my first Weekend of Recovery in 2008. The experience saved my life and continues to do so today. 

I grew up with complex trauma, experiencing childhood sexual abuse, neglect, emotional abuse and great violence. I was conditioned to believe that I deserved whatever happened to me, so I kept the abuse secret. Last year, my pediatrician was released on parole after 30 years in prison. He worked in dozens of schools; most of my peers were his patients. The schools that required us to see him did not discuss it, our parents did not discuss it, and we certainly didn't discuss it amongst ourselves. The institutional abuse became another secret.

I wasn’t a victim or a survivor; I was a fighter. I would escape into a nearby park, and found joy in fantasy books, movies, and in my art. I had many great adventures with great friends. I took a lot of risks and nearly ended it all. I found an amazing partner who supports me to this day, and I eventually started therapy. That's when I was introduced to the Weekends of Recovery and the amazing people at MenHealing. 

I never imagined the freedom I'd feel meeting other men who had the same experiences. They had the same vocabulary as me, and the same injuries. I was not the only one conditioned to believe these secrets were mine. I saw strength in other survivors and safety in numbers. I now have a community I can turn to and share my milestones and my struggles.

And I cannot emphasize this enough, but they taught me that what was done to me is not my secret, it's the abusers. 

I was reintroduced to art and creativity during the Weekend of Recovery and used it to heal. It's often impossible for me to put my experiences into words, but I can put it on paper using ink, or on canvas with paint. I entered an alumni art contest for the cover of our weekend journal. I needed a way to convey the sadness I felt when I realized how small I was when I was first abused, and how I stand with the same defiance as a man, as I did when I was a boy. 

I was happy when my art was chosen for the journal, and I signed up for another weekend. Seeing everyone with my work, the metaphors felt very real. I feel my story is safe and protected in the hands of other survivors. I also feel like I am protecting their stories and fortifying their journals. 

I would never have been able to attend a Weekend of Recovery without donations and a scholarship, and I'm forever grateful. I cannot imagine where I would be today if I had not. I've been married for 20 years and have two beautiful children. I have had a great career, and I can now give back to the people that helped save me.