At or around the same time that Albert Einstein declared E=mc², the New York City Police Department thought it would be a good idea to ordain Henry Flattery as an officer in its detective division. That's the theory, anyhow.

We've heard a string of theories...there's the one about how one Flattery would become a dentist and another a merchant marine who had the job of transporting the war dead home from Europe. The stories include the first woman to serve in Alaskan government, and yet another Flattery who cheated on his military eye exam only to became an award-winning patent attorney in the biomedical field. But in all of these tales and yarns, only one Flattery became a mother, and she's in fine form.

Think you're a Flattery? Prove it:

Average Medical Costs in the United States of America

Dental visit: $203
Eye exam: $171
50 mg vial of Bacillus Calmette-Guérin Vaccine: $90.54
Treatment of non-drug resistant tuberculosis: $20,000
30 days postpartum care: $870
Medical degree: $364,536

What it comes down to is this:

How much would you pay to see someone smile in Honduras? Act before midnight tonight and we'll put in a good word for you with the Tooth Fairy.

Thoughts, prayers, and tax deductions.

Trish Cleary
Indentured Servant

P.S. Stay tuned for dental records.

E=mc ²

Flattery et al.