"Worry in the dark can make it even darker." - Camron Wright

My greatest fear of pregnancy was realized on January 11th, 2021. My body was no longer a safe place for my son to grow and our days of cohabitating were quickly coming to an end.

As a child-bearing person, there is great comfort and pride in carrying a baby through a pregnancy. Your body is the ultimate home, the ultimate provider, the perfect environment for creating something incredible.

For my own pregnancy, though, and for that of thousands of parents every year, preeclampsia and Intrauterine Growth Restriction changed everything. Not only was my body no longer the right environment for my son to grow in, but it wasn't safe for me, either. Unfortunately, the only surefire cure for preeclampsia is birth.

Enter: A premature baby and a 28-day NICU stay.

Arthur James was born seven weeks early at 2 lbs, 10 ounces. He was 11 inches long.

On that day, his hands were the size of quarters, his limbs were skin and bones, his chest heaved with loud, labored protests, and his body flushed red with the effort.

On that day, my husband and I were initiated into a club we hadn't asked for and hadn't dreamed we would ever experience. We were NICU parents.

The NICU is a unique place. It is equally somber and celebratory, quiet and full of commotion. The NICU is a place of healing, growth, heartache and hurdles. It is a place that I loathed to visit because of the circumstances that got me there and a place that I refused to leave because my whole heart was staying behind.

My husband and I found out quickly through our experience that there is no deeper isolation than not being understood. I could write book upon book about our stay, talk about it, describe it, illustrate it, but there is no way to truly impart upon the uninitiated the impact of having a baby in the NICU.

That's where Project NICU came in for us. Very soon after Arthur was born, I stumbled upon Project NICU on Instagram while looking at related hashtags. As I read the posts, I felt seen, heard and represented by thousands of families who were posting, commenting, and having whole conversations about their own NICU experiences, past and present. The environment online was one of camaraderie, comfort, relatability, honesty, and compassion. The stories were the plain truth, the feedback was validating, and the message was overwhelmingly "You are not alone."

Upon further investigation I learned that project NICU was created by a former NICU momma, is run by volunteers who have also experienced the NICU, and that they do so much more than managing an online forum. They host virtual support groups every week, they organize meals for NICU staff, they plan baby showers for current NICU parents, and among many other things, they coordinate care package campaigns for delivery to NICU parents all over the country.

This is where I welcome you to come into my story and play a positive part in the lives of so many parents just like me. I am a volunteer Ambassador with Project NICU and I am gathering funds to put together 60 care packages for NICU parents at Kaiser Permanente Roseville, the hospital that delivered and took care of my Arthur.

Care packages contain many of the essentials that new NICU parents often don't even know they need, like a notebook for writing down big feelings and gobs of medical information and questions, snacks to remind parents to keep their energy up (I've included Oreos in my packages because I burned through them like crazy during my own experience), lip balm for combating that dry hospital air, lotion for healing cracked skin from all of the pre- and post-visit hand washing, gum for when you definitely forgot to brush your teeth and have to wear a mask all day, tissues for innumerable tears, a hot/cold tumbler for staying hydrated, face cleansing wipes for a little refresh during a long day, antibacterial wipes for keeping clean commonly used objects like cellphones, and many more useful items.

The goodies in these packages are curated specifically by parents who have experienced first-hand the chaos of adjusting to NICU life. But I can only provide these care packages if you join Arthur in being one of his NICU Knights.

Please consider donating to and sharing my fundraiser. $10 would make a wonderful gift, though any amount will help me toward this exciting goal.

And if you know someone who is experiencing the NICU, please tell them about Project NICU. You can send them to the Instagram account (@projectnicu) the Facebook page (Project NICU), or the website (www.projectNICU.com). The NICU is not a place for going it alone. "Worry in the dark can make it even darker", so let's shine a light on the path for all of the courageous NICU families out there.

Project NICU offers connection, support and community to all involved in the NICU Journey. From NICU Care Packages, Peer Support, Graduate Programming, events and more we are here for every step of the journey. Led by NICU Parents, our programs are designed with first hand experience with support by NICU medical professionals on our advisory board to truly create an environment where families and NICU Teams can feel supported.

Knights of the NICU

By Project NICU

Knights of the NICU