Debbie and I lived with Alzheimer’s for at least eight years. She was a Donovan, and I’m a Liss. Together we were the Donoliss team, for 45 years of living together, marriage and family. We were a team with Alzheimer’s too.
Like most who struggle in the face of this life sentence, we didn’t know what we were getting into. In the beginning, we didn’t believe we needed any help. But they were there, the Alzheimer’s Family Support Center. Though I’m unsure where we first heard about them, it was reinforced by the neurologists and the elder law attorney. I contacted the Center and thought, “we’re not there yet; we don’t need any help.” And that was okay, because when the time came, the AFSC was ready.
It started with an indispensable caregivers’ class (which our daughters took too!), and then I was in the Male Caregivers’ Support Group via zoom for more than three and a half years. I don’t think I missed more than one call, even when I was in the hospital after breaking my neck! It was too important in my life, and in the work I was doing with Debbie. I started as the newbie in the group only to end up sharing my hard earned knowledge in the end. Every one of us is on our own journey with this insidious disease, but we can do it together. Ultimately the two caregiving classes I took with the AFSC, the support group, the caregiver referrals, and the many individual consults I had toward the end of our trip together, made all the difference in the world. And then there was the respite program in the Mall. For a few critical months, Debbie was able to participate in that program. She smiled, and everybody smiled back; there was real joy in the room. It’s not easy to adapt to the varied needs of the different participants; they did a really good job. I felt comfortable leaving Debbie in their able hands, for me to take advantage of the little bit of that respite time I so dearly needed for myself. Most importantly, Debbie benefitted from all of our involvement, making her quality of life as good as possible. I stayed sane, and was able to stay ahead of the curve with the education and the support the Center offered. With the help of the Alzheimer’s Family Support Center, Debbie and I lived out those final years together lovingly, and with dignity. I am so grateful.
That’s why I want to help the Alzheimer's Family Support Center continue their mission. Please give whatever you can to help others suffering with Alzheimer’s to stay safe, to laugh, and to live their lives with love and dignity too.
