Stanley’s Diabeetus Fund

Bad news: Stanley has been diagnosed with diabeetus.

Worse news: he has somehow become even more dramatic.

Stanley would like everyone to know that he did not ask for this. He had a very busy schedule of screaming for snacks, riding around in his tiny pink purse, judging people, and committing crimes, and now apparently his pancreas has decided to become “medically interesting.”

According to Stanley, this is:
• A personal attack
• Extremely rude
• Not his fault
• Something that should absolutely be paid for by everyone else

Stanley is under veterinary care and is being closely monitored, but his new diagnosis means ongoing expenses including:
• Vet visits
• Bloodwork
• Glucose monitoring
• Medication
• Special food
• Future testing

Unfortunately, Stanley’s current budget was entirely allocated toward:
• Tiny purses
• Snacks
• Looking beautiful
• Tax fraud
• Whatever he does all day besides pay bills

So we are asking for help covering Stanley’s Diabeetus Fund.

Our goal is $1,000 to help cover Stanley’s first few months of care.

Donation Levels:
• $5 – Buy Stanley one whole minute of emotional support

• $10 – One test strip for his tiny broken pancreas

• $25 – Prescription food because apparently he is “special” now

• $50 – A vet visit where Stanley screams and acts like he has never known love

• $100 – Official Sponsor of Stanley’s Diabeetus Era

• $250 – Sugar Daddy Status

Stanley would like to remind everyone that while he appreciates your support, he remains furious, innocent, and the victim in all of this.

He also asked us to tell you that if he survives this, he expects even more treats, more purses, and at least one custom throne.

Because obviously.