in honor of pregnancy & infant loss awareness month, i wanna take the opportunity talk about my angel boy, Bryson Michael Miller, & hopefully raise some extra funds for our yearly toy drive, Bryson’s Gift. 🤍
*TW as this contains some very raw moments i experienced* 
he was with me earthside for 1 month exactly & it was the absolute best month of my life. a month imprinted on my soul forever. born october 28, 2020 at 7 lbs 9 oz & so healthy. breastfed like a champ & i felt so incredibly blessed to have been able to, as i really didn’t expect it. as a single mom, breastfeeding on top of everything else is absolutely EXHAUSTING but i wouldn’t trade that bond we created for the world. 🥹 he truly changed my entire perspective on life in a way i didn’t know possible & im forever grateful to have gotten that single month, even if it was such little time.
on november 28, 2020 i woke up wondering why he hadn’t woken up to eat & as soon as he didn’t startle when i picked him up- i knew something was REALLY wrong. (he wasn’t cold or blue) my bestfriend/roommate called 911 while i did CPR & the ambulance was there within about 5 min i believe, if not faster but because it was during COVID, i wasn’t allowed to go in the ambulance. my mom beat us to the hospital & she’s the one who called to let us know they couldnt save him. it was ruled SIDS. i sat in the cold hospital chair holding my lifeless baby, screaming “my baby” over & over again. the real nightmare began when i saw the warm packs falling out of the blanket he was wrapped in.. that’s when it all hit me that my baby was gone & cold & the only thing making it seem remotely normal in that moment was the warm feeling while holding him & that was stripped away, too. 
that day began the worst & darkest chapter of my life, the day i had to start living without my baby boy. the pain is indescribable & so, so heavy. 
but there is light in this dark. 
throughout all of this, my incredible mom, Bryson’s Gramsy, was thinking of ways to honor him & to help me through my grief & she came up with the beautiful idea of “Bryson’s Gift”, a toy drive every year on his birthday (oct 28), where everyone brings a toy for the age Bryson would be (age 4 this year) & we donate them to a local charity, the Lazarus Society. each year the turnout gets bigger & bigger & it truly heals my soul. last year we did over $1000 monetary donation + 2 car loads FULL of toys. 🥹 we also dress it up like a birthday party for Bryson with cupcakes & decorations to make it a little less heavy. ❤️‍🩹
if you would like to donate to the toy drive, we do a shopping spree right before the drive & anything left over goes towards a monetary donation directly to the charity. if you would rather donate with a different payment method, we have designated accounts set up to receive monetary donations. the cash app is $EM050899 (should pop up under Bryson’s Gift) 
the venmo is @milleremily1999 (should also pop up as Bryson’s Gift) 
i will forever brag about my sweet boy every chance i get & if you read this far, thank you. you are loved 🫶🏼