I have always been of the mindset that when someone shows you who they are, believe them. A leopard can’t change their spots. People can’t change... but can they? Or when you meet someone, maybe they are walking through something difficult so they don’t show you their true self. I am not sure what I believe anymore because I have changed. Or at least I hope I have. I know there were things I needed to change about myself.
I think life is tough. Marriage is hard. Raising kids, well THAT is very hard. We are born hardwired, we come into this world with a distinct personality and sure we can tweak it... but unless we work at it, that’s the person we are going to be.
I was born in 1968, the youngest of 11 children. I had five brothers and five sisters. My mom was a housewife and my dad worked tow jobs. He was a produce manager and a steel worker. Having that many kids is expensive! Growing up in Duluth Minnesota was awfully cold in the winters but in the summers.... so fun. We knew when to go home for supper and then back outside we went... to play kickball, to bike around the hood and to just be outside with friends.
Looking back now I realize we were poor. We didn’t have a big house. We didn’t even have an attached garage. We had one bathroom... with a bathtub, no shower. I shared a room with my sister. I would say that my life really was not much different that most of my friends though. That is until my parents both died. My dad of lung cancer in 1981 and my mom of a heart attack in 1983. After that things get fuzzy. Changing schools, packing my things and living with one sister and then another. To say that life kind of sucked for me at that time wouldn’t be an understatement.
But you do what you have to. I worked. Sometimes two jobs at a time and I also babysat. I put myself through college and graduated with a bachelors degree in nursing. Worked for a few years then you know the story. Girl meets boy, falls in love, gets married and has kids...
Life goes by. You raise your kids and life is good. Then you find out you have cancer. Another bump in the road. This time you look in the mirror and you are scared. You don’t want your own children to go through that devastating loss of losing a parent too young... so can people change? Yes they can. I sure did. I went from someone worried about where I was going to vacation next to someone who was fighting for their life... literally.
I think that we do change. Sometimes life circumstances change you. Sometimes you make the decision to change because maybe you look at yourself in the mirror and don’t like what you see. Maybe it’s all of the above. I think our own human nature teaches us that change is scary. It may mean starting over. It’s hard when you are comfortable in your life. But I think change is necessary. I believe that BECAUSE of cancer I have changed. I prioritize differently. I try harder in my relationships. I WANT to do better. To be better.
So I say this ..when someone shows you who they are, believe them but also give them grace. Understand that life is messy and relationships are even more messy. Forgiving is a necessity.
I know for me, as I go through this journey I realize change is necessary. We have to change or we can’t grow. Change is good!! So go out and change the world... that’s what I am trying to do!! Thank you in advance for helping me reach my goal. Cheers and love💙
