In an alternate universe, where Covid never happened, I would have had top surgery on July 7th, 2020.

My name is Alexander Eli (he/him.) I'm a proud and open transmale musician and performer. When my former bandmates in TOMBOi, moved away from our hometown, I chose to stay and take a position as a bar manager at a music venue. I helped them build and integrate a full liquor program into their venue, all the while dealing with unrelenting dysphoria and transphobic patrons and staff. I stayed solely to save money for top surgery and medically transitioning. It took me two and a half years of planning and living very frugally to raise the $10k. Starting HRT alone cost me around $5k.

When Covid hit, Music venues were some of the first businesses too close and 'non-essential' surgeries were postponed. The only money I had was my top surgery fund. So I paid one month of bills, then two, then three....until all the money was gone. Being severely asthmatic with a pretty intense history with spouts of pneumonia, I honestly was terrified of not surviving a spout of Covid. Now I’m back to $0 in my top surgery fund and nowhere close to my goal.

Some days I feel an extreme since of grief for this reality. This time last year, I was in a very dark place, ready to tap out. Completely lost & over it. Pain, discomfort, loss and grief have been my constant teachers.Perseverance & Resilience constant themes, constantly a back handed compliment.....but we push on.... bc life is hard, life is precious, life is short.

I didn’t get to choose the body I arrived in, nor did I have any say on the gender I was assigned, but I absolutely refuse to be buried in this skin before I get top surgery.

So, here I am, arms open, feeling very vulnerable sharing my story and journey.

I can't express how overwhelming trying to function in the heat with a binder or tape on is. I can't leave my house without either, and I don't have the options to take breaks from binding during the days. This leaves me with nerve issues, constant back & shoulder pain, shortness of breath and stomach issues. I do my best to push through it all with a smile and being kind to myself. Some days I'm successful....some days I'm not.

I honestly don’t know how to plan or think of anything else. I have tunnel vision.

I will be releasing music and performing as, DADDY, also to raise money to achieve this goal. You can follow me on IG and Spotify
@Listen_2_daddy

Your donation will go towards my pre-surgery doctor visits, surgery, post-op supplies and accommodations for my recovery.

I can't express all the feelings involved in this. I've always been better at processing emotions through music. I dream of the day I can perform on a stage without a binder, maybe even without a shirt.... with a lil' help from kind souls like you...maybe we can make that dream a reality.