In spring of 2015 when I was 31 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child, I learned the devastating news that her life would be brief. At 31 weeks, I was told she had hypoplastic left heart syndrome and would need three open heart surgeries before the age of three. Two weeks later, I learned she had Trisomy 18 and would not survive. At 41 weeks, her heart had stopped, and I delivered my precious baby girl, Eliza Andrew Winter, into this world only to be returned to the earth three days later. The spaces in between the ten weeks from her diagnosis to her goodbye were the most profound moments of my life. I experienced heartbreak so intense I fell to my knees with cries otherworldly, and simultaneously, a love so immense I thought I might burst into a million pieces of light. Everyday following her loss was an act of surrender as my young family navigated our new life amidst an ocean of grief and multiplying unknowns. It was through the dark night of Eliza’s death and the lived experience of my love and grief that I awoke to an embodied life ripe with meaning, purpose, and the extensive healing of my traumatic past. It is from this hallow place that I found RTZ HOPE and became a Mind Body Coach focusing on grief, trauma, and change. I now share the lessons from her influence to help others navigate life’s challenges and embrace life’s gifts.
I found Return To Zero HOPE in 2018. I was desperate to find connection, but not just any connection would do. I needed a community of like-minded people who were committed to a holistic approach to grieving and healing. A place where I could walk between the worlds of life and death, connected to myself and the boundless energy of my child, and find light and meaning amidst the darkness and my grief. I attended a retreat in Seattle and knew immediately that this was the organization I wanted to channel my energy into not only for my healing journey but for bereaved families across the globe.
I have been working with RTZ for 6 years and my commitment to helping people navigate their darkest time in life has not dwindled. I believe every person deserves to receive compassionate support and have their grief witnessed by a loving other during their pregnancy or infant loss experience. I believe every loss, no matter type or gestational age, deserves to be lovingly acknowledged and mourned. If you feel this way too, please consider donating in honor of Eliza.
I am so proud of my daughter- her powerful spirit- and the many lives she has touched. I am proud to be her mother- the vessel of our combined love- and the work I do to support others on this journey of love and loss. Would you consider helping me honor her legacy by donating to RTZ HOPE in honor of HOPETOBER and Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month?
